I wrote this about 4 days ago, I was debating about posting
or not but fuck it.
It was one of the last nights in Koh Rong, until I come back of course.
Enjoy my highness:
Lets see how this goes; I’m pretty high on a lot of drugs at
this moment with a cigarette in my mouth. Ketamine, MDMA, Weed, alcohol. I'm
totally sure if there had been more drugs around I would’ve taken them. Am I a
drug addict or just somebody that’s travelling and experiencing new stuff?
It’s been what? A month? Two? Three? This island is amazing,
you create like a little family, one that actually cares more about you than
the one you have back “home”. Everybody might be drunk or fucked on drugs most
of the time but at least in a little part of their brain you are part of them.
This is fucking awesome; I'm literally sitting on the floor
in my room whilst my Canadian and the New Yorker are passed out in my bed.
What the fuck am I listening to? Oh Led Zeppelin, now I see
why you were so big. It’s fucking awesome music when you're high.
I always get asked if I’m going back home, that’s a hard
question. I don't fucking know where home is. It’s a little bit sad, yeah, it
is. Most of you are used to seeing your parents, close friends, siblings, like
pretty often. I’m not. I don't even know if my older siblings consider me a
sibling, like if somebody asks them how many siblings they got if they would
consider me or how do they mention me.
Fuck that sad shit. I just saw the fucking sunrise in a
beautiful island in Cambodia surrounded by fucked up people just like me.
People that are running away from shit from their countries. There’s a reason
why like jobs in places like this and why we agree to get paid with
accommodation, food and the big one that’s the big spender for us: ALCOHOL. Or
drugs, they pay with weed in some places but still that’s how they keep us.
I was talking to a girl today and it literally felt like I
was in the book 1984 and she was part of the proles, because that’s how close
minded she was.