Am I getting better?

So, just like my psychologist said yesterday, what a big change. Now that I see it, these last two weeks have been like a rollercoaster of everything. I'm really happy some days and other days I'm not but lately I've been keeping myself busy and, oh my fucking god, that helps a lot. I started working yesterday, service industry sucks, wanted to choke a couple persons but I just laughed about it in my head, I guess that's better right? Had a good interview yesterday morning as well, and oh well, things are looking positive and I start to see finally a light at the end of the tunnel.

Also, my psychologist said, that I like women that treat me like shit, guess it all comes with the adrenaline junkie that I am. I don't enjoy easy things, I like to feel the thrill and the adrenaline of everything. Of women making me chase them. Keeping me on my toes, making me call them and not them calling me. I mean I enjoy when they're nice and treat me back good but if it becomes too easy I get bored and want to follow on. Guess that is what happened in the military as well, it was becoming too easy, I started getting bored, didn't see anywhere to grow up or anything.

I like to learn, I like to improve myself every day. I wish I had more tools aka money to do it. Anybody want to sponsor me getting a skydiving license? I promise you, you'll jump for free with me for the rest of your life or well, being more realistic, for the rest of mine. The way that I live life I don't think I will make it too long in this world but also I like that. I don't want to end up in a foster home, not being able to do my workouts, not being able to do everything by myself. Do you want somebody wiping your ass? Unless it's my life partner maybe, and that is still a maybe.  Also, something that motivated me was this quote: "It never gets easier, you just get better". I'm probably getting better at dealing with life issues, at dealing with myself, at realizing I don't have it easy but I will find a way to make it easy and kick ass. Because you know what, I have the fucking motivation, I know what I want, I'm working on the means to achieve it and I'll make it.

Oh, I also think I'm a narcissist and I blame it on my mother. Is that also narcissist on my part? And also I just did one of those online quiz, I got 34, out of 40. If you get above 20 you're a narcissist, so there you go. I mean, I care about other people, especially about her. I care more about her than I care about myself because I feel when she's happy I'm happy.

I suck at moving on.

Have a nice fucking weekend.

And here it goes again, remember, it doesn't get easier, you just get better.