Breaking hearts, burning bridges, going down. Repeat.

Repeat, repeat. Why am I afraid of letting someone love me? Why when finally somebody cares about me I want to just run away and I get scared.

I need to learn to love myself first before loving or loving somebody else and I'm also scared of sharing everything. I'm scared of opening up.

Yeah, I was so positive about it a couple days ago and now I just want to run away. I'm scared to death being honest. Still, I think it's better to break it off right now than to just pretend nothing is going through my head and make it a lot harder later.

Damn you travels, damn you life but still if life was easy and dull what would be the point of living it?

Life always goes on.

She's going on her way and I don't know what I'm doing. English teacher in Hanoi? Meeting up friends down south? I hate decisions.


Carpe the fucking diem. And smile, please smile.

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Answers.

Last day, last couple hours. I don't even know if I'm coming back or not. Fuck. I feel hungover as shit, stitches are off so I guess that’s good. It’s time to move. Can’t handle this island anymore. It’s becoming just a drinking place, getting wasted everyday. 

It’s not fun when it becomes a lifestyle and it has gotten me a lot of times before. 

I don’t know what to do, where to go. The only thing I know it is that I made a promise and I’m really looking forward to seeing her. Even though it kinda scares me how things will turn out when we see each other. But I’m being positive and really looking forward to it. 

This hangover has been the worst one ever in this travels. Haven’t had one like this in years. Just had the first food of all day. Puking my guts out all day. Laying in bed on the other side already missing so much everybody but have to move forward just like everybody there will. 

Are we supposed to know what we want in life? Why is it so hard to don’t have a direction? Is there supposed to be answers to all this questions? 


Please smile, I always try to even if I feel like shit inside. At least you could make someone's day.


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