Back in the West

Fuck, it's been a few months since I wrote something. I guess my life got better and I kinda stopped writing. 

What has happened recently, well, I think last time I wrote something I was on my way to become a tour guide, yeah, that didn’t last too long, I got fired pretty much. Apparently you’re not allowed  to sleep with the customers… haha, seriously, like I was taking groups that consist mostly of of girls the age of 18-25, what do they expect me to do? Like, I can hold myself, kinda haha, but you take these people partying and oh well, they’re in another country, getting drunk and doing stupid stuff, so yeah I got fired from that and then luckily I got into diving, I fell in love with it and I ended up doing an internship in Vietnam to become a divemaster, honestly I had such a great summer living it up by the beach, diving everyday and I met some amazing people there. 

At the end of the diving season I met this girl, yeah as usual haha, American but with Latin heritage, maybe too much for me honestly, times were great with her but also kinda annoying sometimes (lots of times at the end) and she kinda convinced me to go to India with her, I said fuck it, let's go. So, there I went, to India, do I regret it? Not really, I didn’t really see lots in India but was enough and then I went to Nepal to do some awesome trekking through the mountains and right now I’m on an airplane about to land in London. To meet up with some friends, with this beautiful crazy girl that I had met in Koh Rong, Cambodia, it’s been more than 1 year since I seen her. If it works cool, if not whatever. Not pushing it honestly. 

So yeah, that’s has been my life for like the last couple months.

So yeah, I landed, made it in England, first thing I noticed, no one looks at you haha, it’s cold and so much civilized of course. 

I jumped on a bus and headed over to Bristol, to meet up with this girl. I just realized I wrote about her before, May 12, 2015 

So...

I get to Bristol, meet up with her and feel great, I totally feel like I’m in a dream. It’s crazy, I haven’t seen her in ages and I’m also having the shock of being back in the west, all buildings are square, traffic is normal, no one is honking. It’s a huge culture shock. We get to her apartment, I changed and we go out. Straight to a massive huge party in this club. It’s all great, I can’t believe it, she says she loves me and I say the same, it's unbelievable.  We leave the place at like 5AM and head over to a “house” party, that pretty much it was just people laying down doing drugs, by then her “friend” met up with us, first of all I already knew she doesn’t believe in monogamy but there’s something called respect, oh well, most people don’t even know about it anyways. So, she’s all over this guy, I mean come on, I came to see you, you’re my first impression of the West and this is how you act. 

Oh well, we ended up coming back to her house at like 6PM, I’m totally drained and I don’t want to deal with anything so I just lay down and pass out. 

Now it’s first hours of the morning, I wake up on her bed and she’s not her, left me a note saying that she was going to a bar and shouldn’t be home too late blah blah xx. Well, I wake up and she’s not here. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. Going to relax and think about it today. Well, try to relax. 

Carpe the fucking diem guys. 

https://www.facebook.com/captainmistakes/

Let's keep writing baby!!!!

(I wrote this like a month and a half ago)

Life is good! Finally! Still broke but oh well, who cares! I can pay for a roof, food and drinks! What else do you need, it's just uphill from here.

What has happened in the last couple of months? Got into a "relationship" with someone that was kinda breaking me down, never be with someone that it's ashamed of you, that won't invite you not even to their house, introduce you to friends and not even say nice things to make your day better.
She might be a nice person, but now that I look back at it, fuck, never really a compliment or anything. It was more of a joke that anything else.

Well, still working as an English teacher.

UPDATE!!

NO MORE TEACHING ENGLISH!!!

So, I score an amazing job, I'm working as a tour leader all over Vietnam, and yeah, it's better than what it sounds, I get paid to take people North to South and have a blast with them, no, I'm not a tour guide, because we get guides wherever we go, I'm a tour leader as I'm in charge of the whole tour. I just finished my first tour yesterday and it was a blast, we party, we do cool activities, we see amazing sceneries and meet awesome people.

Such a blast. I'm one lucky guy.

On the other side, personal life, yeah, because I know that's why you all are here, to see what's happening deep inside, with my private life, well, I kinda dated someone on and off for a couple months, amazing person, I think I hurt her, as I usually do, I tried to said I'm sorry but oh well, she won't take an apologie and also, I wish she would've understand that we weren't together a while ago. So whatever happened was for the best. I hope she is okay.

Well, as I normally say, carpe the fucking diem :)

Duck people

There's a song by Devendra Banhart called duck people, also Harry Baker has a poem about paper people, that was my inspiration for tonight.

Duck people, I like duck people,
duck people are nice, they come around at night,
they like to drink latte and sit around the cafe.

Sometimes they're out and about,
having fun and drinking wine.

They like to have fun and watch funny shows,
if you hang out with us, you might wanna join.

We wear black shoes and funky shorts,
hippie pants and green hats.

Duck people, we can all be duck people,
singing around, preaching the choir.
We don't have to get drunk to be able have some fun.

If you give them a smile, they might lend you their pants,
if you show them your heart, we will give you a hand.

Maybe it's too harsh, suddenly not right,
but oh well, at the end of the day, no one else cares.
And please, always remember to
carpe the freaking diem.

Smile.

Thoughts, analyze and then realize.

So once you're debating, you don't know if it means that you're entertaining or
just going with the flow, that's the point, to learn to let go.
Learning to survive, learn to apologize, trapped in a golden cage and then
out, nothing else, survive dude survive, at the end of the day you're by yourself
you have nobody else. Nobody else to apologize to, to say hello to, to say I love you too...

What it means to be trapped in this city, stuck in here, concrete jungle with worst than jungle law.
Is there even rules, is there even something going on? I don't know, I'm losing hope.

Carpe the fucking diem.

Phoenix

Who is he, how does he dies and comes back to life? Survive, let's survive, lets come back to life together, die, come back alive.

What about the F-word?

Fuck this, fuck that? That's all we say right now. Does anyone cares about you? Nobody gives a single fuck, at the end of the day we're all here by ourselves.

I wish people would care more, would try to help each others more.
I get out of my way all the time to help people get by... is there ever going to be a payback? I don't know, I don't care. If I can make anyone smile then my job is done.

I'll be better off I think.

Smile you cunts.

Carpe the fucking diem.

Waking up.

Wake up, workout, work, love, sleep. Repeat.

This last days, a blur in my head. Seeing the same things, thinking about past lives.
Time passes by, it won't stop. Carry on, move on, stop.

I won't let go, I will hold on. When you finally find hope, fight for it.

I feel like she talks through me. Sharing pain, sharing thoughts, emotions.