DAMN!

Holy shit, that was some rage moment I had in my last post. It helped, a lot actually. Calmed me down. But damn, I can go to some dark places in my head. I think I might be crazy but anyways, who's not these days? What's considered normal anymore? Do we want to be normal? I like my craziness, sometimes it gets too out of control but at least I'm trying to control it.

I have always been a master of disguise when it comes to hiding my real feelings, to hiding how I feel inside. After I shared this blog with some people that know me they were like, fuck, but you seem so happy all the time, but you're always a really positive person. Well, that's my costume I put on for them because I don't like to show my flaws to anybody that knows me. That's another big reason I started this, so I could release what I have inside without people judging me or well, without people knowing who to judge. I mean, a lot of you guys that read me don't even know my last name. Name is William and that's pretty much it. I'm trying to keep it in the down low as much as possible because I'm fucking tired of being judged. Maybe one day I'll say fuck it and publish everything or maybe I'll die and all of this will go with me.

And you guys know what. After opening up with friends about this blog, I realized I'm not the only one that thinks like this. Because let's be honest. Nobody likes to share his of her flaws with other people, we always want to show other people how cool we are, how bad asses we are. It's not like you meet somebody and first thing is like: Hey my name is William and I'm a complete wreck, nice to meet you, wanna be my friend? People would get fucking scared and run away. That's why psychologists and psychiatrists make money. They're getting paid to listen to all your problems, because everybody else likes to listen to nice things about your life and you don't need to pay them because they actually enjoy them. Nobody likes a whiner or somebody that complains all the time. I fucking hate to complain or whine but you know what, right now is the only fucking thing I can do and it's my blog so if you don't like it go fuck yourself. Am I trying to overcome all this? Totally. Everyday I try to better myself up in something, in any kind of way, mentally, physically, spiritually. Any way that will help me be a better person and that will help me accomplish what I want in my future.

So, fuck it, let's whine, let's complain but let's better ourselves up

Lets Carpe that fucking Diem.