Done Sir Done.

I’m done with all these stupid theories in my head, it’s giving me headaches and causing trouble in my life. I need to chill and cool down and focus for a better future. I’m in the new land of the dreams. If a chubby guy from “‘Murrica” can make it here really good then I can as well and even better. Watch me.

I need to learn from her, she knows how to chill the demons in her head. They say that instead of getting rid of your demons you should find somebody that their demons play along with yours and also, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. So, her demons like to fight with mine and have fun with them as well.

I just need some time off the city to wind off and chill. I’m not running away from this city, as I did from a lot of places in my travels. I’m staying here and I’m going to make the best of it.

Smile people, please, a freaking smile costs nothing.

And Carpe the fucking Diem

www.facebook.com/captainmistakes

Conspiracy Theories and Vietnamese Culture.

I would say this last 2 weeks have been a total blur, been reading a lot about conspiracy theories just like how the universe conspires to help you or to fuck you, how when everything starts going fine someway the universe is going to fuck you. But if you let it fuck you it's going to repeat it and repeat it until you learn the lesson to be positive and being positive you will attract good things.

So, yeah, since my accident, some shit has been happening but I've been trying to stay positive and now everything starts looking better. Yeah, I still have some issues going on but if I stay negative, shit is going to keep happening and I'm just going to sink down.

Vietnamese culture... haha, I love that I ask always but why? But why? Vietnamese culture is super interesting, just to tell you that I'm afraid of driving from thursday night until tuesday morning haha. They are really predictable, they react to body language a lot. With the men you need a firm hand and with the women just a lovely face and a smile. They're super shy. But anyways, I love studying their behaviour it's really interesting.

The big reason I'm writing this it's because of you, my readers, that actually know who's the guy behind the words. Because since all these shit started happening all of you started reaching out to me and for that, thank you. I almost ended up back home yesterday, yes, you know who you are and merci beaucoup mon cheri. You always help me get out from darkness, even if it's just with words, or a plane ticket like yesterday.

Always love people and smile, please smile. Make somebody's day, you never know what kind of shit they're going through.

Talking about smiling, the universe has send some people that have helped these last couple days to get over all this shit.

https://www.facebook.com/captainmistakes

What the fuck Universe?

Dear Universe,

Why the fuck do you conspire to keep fucking me over? Why? When everything seems to be alright you screw me up.

So, last night, after an amazing day of chilling and sipping beer mosas, this beautiful girl from England and myself head over to the bar area, the backpacker area, to have a couple drinks. After being there for a while and everything being fine we're like, maybe we should call it a night and just head back to watch movies. On the way back, we get hit by a damn truck. I wasn't even drunk when I was driving but of course this fucking truck had to pass the red light. I had 2 interviews today, now I have to move them. At least I can walk better than her, she's pretty messed up and that doesn't really makes me feel better. I would prefer to be the one feeling worst. Not her. 

Thank you Hanoi for the way you received me. You know what? BREAK ME, NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT AND YOU KNOW WHAT. I'M GOING TO GET UP EVERY FUCKING TIME. 

At least I have nice company in bed and taking care of somebody is always a rewarding thing. 

Let's smile people, shit happens, c'est la vie. 

Fuck you Murphy's Law. 

This pain killers are pretty nice actually.

www.facebook.com/captainmistakes

Fucked myself.

As always I fucked myself over, it has to be the last fucking time. I'm done, done being nice to everybody. Caring about everybody, it's time for me to think about myself and care about myself.
Too fucking generous all the time. Time to focus on myself and on my future. I'm stranded in Thailand with $60USD, what happened to the rest of my money? I blew it, on my stupid addictive personality. I need to learn, I have to learn to stop being addicted to things that are killing me and become addicted to things that I enjoy.

I have to stop being a doormat and letting anybody step on me and I have to stop fucking people over as well. I just feel like a fucking asshole. Yeah, I might be nice to everybody but inside I'm just burning with sadness, rage, loneliness, all kinds of sad emotions.

I like helping people, it satisfies me. On my way back to the hostel today I saw a lost traveller and as I normally like to do I got out of my way to help him. I like doing that but some people just don't appreciate it and I let it just get under my skin. I shouldn't let that happen. I should just let it go and don't let it affect me.

Fuck all I want to do is drink so I don't think about anything anymore. I see why people likes drugs so much, they just block you from your reality.

I have a friend flying in tonight, so I've been trying to surround myself with people that know me more than just a couple of hours. Done with that, done caring about new people, especially when I don't feel the vibe I won't even waste my time in them.


I want to tell you all to smile but normally I smile when I write it and I just feel like crying being honest.

Fuck you all then.

Carpe the fucking diem.

https://www.facebook.com/captainmistakes

Enjoy.

I'm lying next to her, she's a beautiful mess. Aren't we all? I'm pretty stoned and a little bit sick because of all the free alcohol this city has to offer. I love it here. I fell in love with this city, it has taken my heart and if I don't stop it, my body as well. I want to settle here for a couple months, have what you called a "regular life" but at least stop drinking everyday, help the locals someway, teach them english, manners, education in anything, sex, drugs, alcohol.

She has been sucked by this city as well, I just don't want to end up drinking like she does. Or working in the same environment with the same kind of people, backpackers that found it was easy to stay here and get drunk every night. Literally, at your job interviews they tell you to don't get too fucked up but it's still like considered normal. I don't want that, I don't want to show up to teach kids all hungover, that would just be irresponsible from my part, teaching them all the bad ways we are in the western world.

Anyway, I just wanted to share some thoughts.

Smile people, smile. Get interest in other people's lives, you might make their day.

Carpe the fucking diem.

https://www.facebook.com/captainmistakes

Breaking hearts, burning bridges, going down. Repeat.

Repeat, repeat. Why am I afraid of letting someone love me? Why when finally somebody cares about me I want to just run away and I get scared.

I need to learn to love myself first before loving or loving somebody else and I'm also scared of sharing everything. I'm scared of opening up.

Yeah, I was so positive about it a couple days ago and now I just want to run away. I'm scared to death being honest. Still, I think it's better to break it off right now than to just pretend nothing is going through my head and make it a lot harder later.

Damn you travels, damn you life but still if life was easy and dull what would be the point of living it?

Life always goes on.

She's going on her way and I don't know what I'm doing. English teacher in Hanoi? Meeting up friends down south? I hate decisions.


Carpe the fucking diem. And smile, please smile.

www.facebook.com/captainmistakes

Finally...

This is it. I’m meeting her, finally after so many months. I feel happy, is this happiness? I’m really looking forward to seeing her and spending time with her. Damn, finally a happy post right? I’m sober, well about to get a beer in the airplane. 

I have a couple of stories for you guys because I’ve been realizing I haven’t tell you guys a lot about my stories. So, when I went to Koh Phangan to meet that English girl that treated me like crap and never really appreciated anything. That just wanted to fuck like once a day. Sorry if you’re reading this but you did hurt me. I did care about you and wanted to have a great month which ended up in, I was going to say regret but ended up being a lesson well learned. I know it was my fault when I fucked up her scooter but it was also because we were angry at each other driving the bike drunk and angry under the rain with no light is no good. 

But whatever, so when the full moon party was and I came back at like 5 AM I was still going, I wanted to keep partying so I walked around the hostel where I would spend most of the time. Yeah, I like private rooms so I can have sex that’s pretty much is the main reason, because I hate being alone. I love being around people and being the center of attention. Still, I care a lot about people and I love helping people out. I’m better at giving advice than listening to it. Yeah, I’m a dumbs but I have this feeling today. Woke up with excitement, slight hangover but with excitement of seeing her. Of holding her in my arms. 

Anyway, sorry for getting out of context, I normally do that, but yeah went back to that hostel and wanted to keep going so I heard music coming out of a room. I go in and there’s 2 guys chilling drinking and I asked them if they wanted to go back to the full moon party and one of them is fuck yeah, amazing Canadian/Iranian boy, 22 years old and cool as fuck. We got on my scooter and drove back to the full moon party with this huge Mexican Sombrero that I got from some Mexicans in Koh Rong, Cambodia. So there we go on the scooter, make it to the party, ran into a couple friends and had a great time, then we rode back to see Pacquiao and Mayweather fight, it was like 8am and my body just gave up and I passed out. Well, that’s when I met this boy, I literally consider him like a little brother or just like a younger best friend. Is like you just get this really nice bond with some people and I totally got it with him. 

After my accident in Koh Rong, when I went to Sihanoukville, the day I decided to come back, that I shouldn’t had because it was raining like a motherfucker but I was like fuck it, it’s Saturday, coolest party of the week in Koh Rong, I have to make it back. So, I get out of my hotel and there he is, buying a boat ticket. Fuck, I couldn’t even remember his name, I suck at remembering names but there he was, happy as fuck to see me. So, I’m like fuck it, It’s a signal, lets go to Koh Rong and then this cool Mexican guy joined us as well. 

For all of you that haven’t been to South East Asia, Cambodia or even Koh Rong. Well, Normally takes on the speed ferry around 1 hour and a 15 mins to make it to Koh Rong, the ferry makes a stop in another small island next to it and then from there is just like 20 mins. So, we are on the boat, is fucking choppy/wavy as hell. Water getting on the boat, By this time we had a group of 5, 2 cool Israeli guys, the Mexican, my Canadian boy and myself, all going to Koh Rong, all the other people were going to the other small island. A lot more chill, but anyway, water everywhere, we’re all getting wet, boat jumping like crazy, I seriously thought we were going to sank and then the boat stops and the driver says we’re going back to the main land. I was like fuck, I really want to make it to the party but whatever, we have a good group, we’ll make it nice wherever we are. And then on the way back, again, boat stops, then they say we’re switching to a bigger boat and you guys are still going, we’re in the middle of the ocean and the other boat arrives, they switch us right in the middle of the ocean to the other boat and then right before the first boat leaves, the driver from that one tells us, oh by the way, whoever is going to Koh Rong the boat is stopping in Koh Rong Samloem and from there you have to figure it out and as soon as I’m going to ask him WTF he leaves. I was like fuck, fuck it. I’ll make it, I tell the guys, we’ll make it, don’t worry, I got this shit. So we make it to Samloem and there’s people there that want to go to the party as well so we have a group of around 15 - 18 by then. There’s no boats going but the supply boat that stops in a shit ton of piers so fuck it, we get on it. Big old boat full of supplies in the lower deck and we get on the top deck. We have weed, beers, music. Fuck it, it’s been a crazy trip, lets make it good now. So we make it to Koh Rong, the supply boat at the end was fucking rough but we made it, another crazy story with my Canadian boy. 

So, he leaves Koh Rong, then when I leave I meet him in Kampot, a chill out fishing village like 2 hours away. The night we met we decide we’re going out, so me and this Canadian girl get on a Tuk Tuk (google it if you don’t know what it is) and my Canadian boy is following us, not even 5 mins in the fucking Tuk Tuk and this drunk ass westerner, I can almost swear he was English, comes driving in his scooter drunk as fuck and fast straight into us, I literally saw it in slow motion, put my right hand on the poor Canadian girl and we crash. The guy fucking flew away, his scooter destroyed to pieces, smashed. She gets of the Tuk Tuk, I see her walking so I know she’s alright, I see the guy in the floor, check his pupils, they’re moving so he’s not dead and as soon as I want to go check on the Tuk Tuk driver he fucking rides away, with my sombrero and her backpack in it. Poor guy, wasn’t even his fault and he got so scared that he left. So I scream at my Canadian boy, my sombrero! And then we fucking get on the bike chasing him. We lost him, is his town so he knows the roads better. I was like fuck it, it’s gone, the fucking sombrero is gone. We go back, I take the Canadian girl back to the hostel because she’s having a fucking panic attack, she thought the guy was dead because there was oil and water on the floor and she thought it was blood. So, as soon as I’m about to leave the hostel to have a drink with my Canadian boy another Tuk Tuk arrives with my sombrero and her backpack, fuck yeah. After that we just had a nice night of drinks and fun. Always crazy stories with him, love this kid. 

But whatever, yeah, I’m looking forward to today, in 2 hours I will be holding her in my arms giving her a kiss. I can’t believe it. I’ve been feeling so positive today, reading Steven Adler autobiography, fuck yeah, amazing book. Must read list for all of you that haven’t read it and if you don’t read you should start doing it. It will expand your mind just like traveling.

That’s the thing about traveling, it expands your mind to a point that you cannot bring it back to how it was, changes you completely and opens you to the world, to so many different cultures. It is fucking awesome. 

Well, it might be a while till I write sad posts, hopefully. I’m just going to be positive about this. A lot of people that know say I’m going to get bored fast, that I can’t handle just being with one person. Well, it can always be different. Lets be positive as fuck on this and hope the best of it for both of us. 

I love life right now so I’m glad I haven’t died/killed myself. 

Oh, and Canadian girl, I know you’re reading this. Please please please take care of yourself. I know it’s fun to live life to the limit, but at least have a little bit of common sense, you’re a beautiful person inside and outside, sorry for my stupid jokes but I opened up to you a lot because I saw myself in you, and you’re still pretty young to don’t make the same mistakes I did.

Always remember to Carpe the fucking Diem.

https://www.facebook.com/captainmistakes